3.15. Kotori: "I know what I am worth"

My name is Kotori. It means "screech owl spirit" in my native language. I am a son of tribal chief and creator heiress Pavati Blessing Moon, my father was a slave Sakuruta who was originated from the Northern lands. Slave... I don't like this word. How people living in forests, mountains and desserts can have the slaves? We are people of nature, we are free! But it's a part of my native tribe history and it will be for ages. All tribal chiefs and creators had slaves until my sister Wenona became a tribal chief. But I don't care... My father always was my father to me, but not a slave. I miss him... I hope he has happy life in Netherworld. How many summers and winters has passed since that day when I saw him... I still remember our tribal village and Square of Ceremonies where I and Wenona celebrated our sixteen summers. I know we can't return to our native lands in southwest, our home is here now. Life isn't bad here, days and nights became warm again like before the great punishment of gods, we can hunt and fish and grow the plants like we did when I and my siblings were kids. And the most wonderful thing I'll become a father soon. Maat is a wonderful woman, she has a wisdom of owl, always smiling face and fire hair. She is beautiful like a summer.

But sometimes I feel weird when I see Nikki. I can't stand her and I just want grab her in my arms and kiss her like crazy at the same time. I feel her and can see through her, she avoids me and even mated with my older brother Tahatan, but I know that she still wants me. But I won't chase Nikki, she'll come to me herself one day. I know she'll not reject me like Suletu did...

Well, she was just a kid and I was much younger, but still... I can't stand when someone rejects me and I never forget those who hurt me if even these people are my friends. I think that the tooth must be for a tooth and an eye for an eye, it's how this world is created and it will always be. Women are used to think that if they have power, they are superior to men in all things, but this is not true. They are powerful only because we, men, descend to them yet, but one day things will change and the world will belong to us again, men. I am a man and proud of it, was not born yet a woman who would humiliate me and yet not born a woman, who I could't have. I know who I am and I know what I am worth. It makes me smile seeing how Suletu avoids me after that evening when I let her know that I know about her and Okomi. She fears me and it strokes my heart, but I don't wish her bad. I just want she would learn a lesson.

                             
And Okomi is a great friend although sometimes his kindness and honesty annoy me. But he is what he is... Okomi doesn't have a tongue of snake, you can count on him and I aprreciate it. It was weird to see him quarreling with Tahatan when we were kids... He became gloomy after his mother's death, but then we all should be gloomy as we also lost our parents like Okomi. He is just too soft for this world if even he proved us he can be good hunter and warrior.

I don't know... Sometimes I feel happy, but sometimes I feel like today... It seems like this world is too small for me or I am just stuck somewhere in the middle. It's like I don't use my full potential I should. It's like I am going not on my own way. But maybe when I and Maat will have our baby I will feel different... Who knows.