Sunshine Blogger Reward

Big Thanks for this award to @JLBDreamer! The Blessing Moon tribe will celebrate it dancing around the bonfire. Me too.
I just started to know @JLBDreamer as a writer, so I can't tell too much yet, but I really liked what I read. You can find her stories here: https://dreamingsimscom.wordpress.com/welcome-to-my-blog/
It's a big honor to me as my second story is nominated (My Simself legacy story was nominated by @Hemera123) I'm very very very happy!

So here are my answers to the questions:

1. Is writing just a hobby or do you want to make it a career?

Yes, I'd like to make writing a career, it's my very old dream. I have to finish my book, but no time and inspiration for that. I hope it won't last forever.

2. Which writers inspire you?

Once writer Paulo Coelho inspired me to write a story about the soul twins... It was an amazing feeling. Later the music I heard inspired me to start a book I still work on. Then after few years @pammiechick inspired me to start a story about the Blessing Moon tribe. Not only writers can inspire you to write something. If you are creative person almost everything can inspire you to write or compose something. Once I heard in a dream a song what later I composed, I woke up singing its melody.

3. So what have you written?

I'm still working on my book (it's already close to the end, I have to write just few chapters). I wrote a story about an angel "My Black Angel", a story about love "Charms of the night" (I was influenced by the movie "The Crow" and decided to write my own version)... I wrote many songs for my ex band, poems.
Unfortunately, I didn't finish any the sims story yet, but one day I will. I'm still working on my 3 stories "The Blessing Moon tribe" (Amazon Challenge), My Simself legacy (my own rules) and "After Kasanovas come Blaubers" (male prettacy challenge).

4. What genre do you like writing the most? What draws you to this genre?

I could call my stories and a book "magic reality"... I'm a big fan of fantasy and mystic. But of course, I don't think that my sims stories belong to "magic reality" genre. Although I have an idea to write something similar to the stories I'm used write - something really magic, mysterious and weird. I can't wait when EA will realize Supernaturals and will give us more possibilities to write something like stories about elves, vampires, witches, werewolves, angels, nephilims and etc. I don't know what draws me to this genre, I think it's just my nature. I have a very rich imagination and I am very creative and artistic person.

5. Do you read much and if so who are your favorite authors?

Yes, I read much, that's true. Although I don't have almost any time for books I'd like to read and it's really sad. My favorite author is Paulo Coelho. His "Alchemist" lightened my soul when I wasn't able to see any light and suffered... I like Salman Rushdie so much... His book "Midnight's children" left a very strong and deep impression to me. I adore Annie Rice and all her books about my beloved vampire Lestat. I like Scandinavian writers so much... I'll never forget Joel Hill and his book "Heart-shaped box" or John Ajvide Lindqvist "Let me in"... I read really many books and I would like to share all my impressions with you, but it will take too much time. Maybe next time?

6. For your own reading, do you prefer e-books or traditional paper/hard back books?

I can read all books, no matter if they are e-books or traditional books. I don't have how to read e-books, so I read traditional paper/hard back books.

7. What book/s are you reading at present?

Leonhard Thoma "Das Idealpaar". Yes, I read in German. It's a collection of the short stories. This writer is amazing.

8. What is your favorite movie and why?

"The Crow"... This movie touched me inside and even influenced me to write my own story... I know someone can think and feel different watching this movie. Sure, we all are different and it's ok.

9. When do you write?

I write when I feel the inspiration. Mostly. And when you can't write it's the worst what can happen to creative person.

10. Who is your favorite SimLit Author and why?

Oh, here are many SimLit writers I really like... Pammiechick, Maladi777, Marialein, Hemera123, CitizenErased14, ThePlumbob, iheardinox3, twiggy, Julyvee and etc.. If I'd mention them all it will take a lot of time again! All authors are my favorite whose stories I read and comment!

11. What advice would you give to aspiring writers of SimLit?

Don't stop writing! It's sad to watch when some people stop writing their stories and leave them unfinished... Yes, as it's SimLit many bad things can happen (I had such bad things myself), but you always can renew your stories. Writing is a great thing, it's like dance, it frees your soul. And sometimes you can feel alone if almost anyone doesn't comment your stories... I know it myself, it's bad and sometimes I feel upset for that, but... If even you're not popular SimLit writer like me here are still people what really read your stories. If even they don't leave comments. Believe in that and never stop writing. Be sure, they like your stories. Here will be always someone who will read it. And... You never know what will happen tomorrow.

As I already nominated SimLit writers on my Blog: http://rosesimstories.weebly.com/ I won't repeat myself, so my questions and nominations you'll find there. In fact, I'm nominating all SimLit writers whose stories I read, they all deserve that.

A lot of love to you all and my best nocturnal regards from a bottom of my heart!

RoseNBlack

3.33. Let it be

Nikki woke up late. She was alone in the tent, but it didn't upset her. Nikki loved solitude, but still... It was weird she doesn't hear the voices of kids. Where could be they all? Nikki went outside. The day was sunny and warm, it was so good to feel the rays of sun on your skin again. Nikki smiled happily.

She turned around hoping to see her sons and daughters running around with other kids and how she was surprised when she realized that they aren't here. Nikki got scared. How could it be? Where are they all? Then suddenly she noticed a few cribs... She stood astonished and trying to understand what's going, her mind tried to find the right logical answer to her question and then Nikki remembered what Lakesha said her. She returned to the past... But perhaps she's in a dream? Nikki walked slowly towards the cribs hanging on the trees.

- Oh, my goddess... - she whispered looking at the babies. Her eyes filled with tears. - So it's not a dream... I really returned to the past.
Nikki gently touched every baby and smiled at them. She recognized her both twins Senia and Inara and her brother and Wenona's daughter Sihu. A mild thrill ran across her body.
- It's a sign... - Nikki said herself. - It's a very good sign... I can't ruin my life anymore. I promise your mom will be different, - she smiled picking up her daughter Senia. - Oh, how cute you are, my little one... - Nikki chuckled happily kissing baby's forehead.

She laid her daughter in the crib and picked up her other daughter Inara. Nikki looked long time and her daughter enjoying her. She felt happy that she's mother. Nikki thought she'll necessary have more kids with Tahatan. But will she have twin boys again or her nearest future will be different? Nikki didn't know it and it seemed like an interesting adventure and challenge to her.
- You, your sister and your father are most important to me, our tribe is most important to me, - she talked to her daughter rocking her slowly. - I'm glad I could come back to you...

Nikki cuddled her baby against herself and looked around. She smiled when she saw Kotori, Suletu and Wenona talking and laughing. Suletu was happy and she wasn't punished. Thinking about Suletu and Okomi Nikki thought that maybe this hope wasn't only for her, it was for them all.

Nikki kissed Inara and laid her in the crib. "Everything seems good, except my relationship with Tahatan", - she thought." - But I'll fix it, too",

Nikki went to play a horseshoe. It always helped her to focus on something important. Soon she noticed Maat and Kotori. Maat was pregnant. "So their son Chatan isn't born yet..." - Nikki looked at Maat and smiled. 

It was weird a bit to stand next to Kotori. Nikki remembered how she seduced him and what she did wanting to get him... She fell her eyes feeling ashamed and silently rejoiced that neither Kotori nor Maat can't remember it. They even didn't suspect that everything happened not at their own will. Nikki stood fearing to say something and just listeneed to Kotori and Maat.

Nikki knew she'll never do that again. Kotori isn't worth it. No matter how handsome and attractive he is... Now Nikki looked at him with different eyes.

Tahatan was the most important. Nikki knew she'll do anything for him, so when he came to Kotori Nikki rejoiced. It's her one more chance.
- May we talk, Tahatan? - Nikki's voice was warm and friendly.
Tahatan smiled at her.
- Sure...

They lay on the grass next to each other. They did it often before and it was so good to look at the clouds together again. They were still close... Nikki didn't want to lose Tahatan.

- What did you want to tell me, Nikki? - Tahatan asked her.
- Nothing special... - she smiled. - I just wanted to ask you to give me one more chance.
Tahatan gave a silent sigh.
- I know I hurt you... I understand how it's hard to trust me for you, but please... Let me prove you that I can be different, - Nikki turned her face to him.
Tahatan was still silent.
- I can't lose you... You mean me too much, you and our daughters. Let it be the last chance for me, please...
Tahatan smiled softly.
- And what I have to do with you, Nikki?
- Nothing. Just let me try one more time...
- Why?
- Why? - Nikki moved closer to Tahatan. - Because I am your moon and you are my sun. We can't exist without each other as darkness can't be without the light, Tahatan, - she looked deeply in his dark eyes.
Tahatan smiled and touched Nikki's hand.
- You are a wise woman, Nikki... Too wise and too beautiful...
- No... - Nikki shook her head. - I am not wise and I'll never get any wisdom if I'll lose you. Only being with you I can learn how to become better and learn a wisdom.
- Then let it be, Nikki... - Tahatan took her hand.
- Does it mean...? - Nikki looked questioning at her mate.
Tahatan didn't answer. He leaned and kissed her lips.

3.32. It hurts

Nikki found herself sitting at the fire. It was a deep night and it seemed the stars shone much brighter than ever. She's alive and she can breathe! Nikki laughed happily.

Was it a dream? No... It wasn't a dream and Nikki knew it very well. She was almost dead and she was in Spirits world where she met Lakesha.

- Lakesha... - Nikki said her teacher's name gently. - Thank you... I'll keep my promise to you... - she nodded looking around.

If even she couldn't see Lakesha, Nikki knew she watches her. But maybe Nikki is already dead and what she's seeing now it's just the last remembrances about her life in the Blessing Moon tribal camp? No, it can't be a dream. Wenona, her brother Noel and Kotori are too real for the world of dreams... It was so good to hear them talking and laughing. Nikki wanted to come to them and hug them all, but she didn't dare. She remained to kneel down by the fire and watched them from the distance. 

 "Where are others?" - she asked herself in her mind."- It's pretty late, so probably all are sleeping..." But nobody else she didn't want to see like Tahatan and her children. Perhaps it was the first time when Nikki felt how much strong she loves them all, how much she needs them... They were her world. It's sad she didn't realize it before. Nikki gave a deep sigh. But isn't she here for fixing her mistakes? Nikki rose to her feet and started to look around. Soon she noticed Tahatan running on treadmill. Tall, strong and muscular, his bronze skin shone of the bear fat in the dark. He was most handsome man in Nikki's eyes. She remembered his soft lips, how was good to feel them kissing you, how was wonderful to fall asleep in his arms and cuddle against his broad chest... And she betrayed Tahatan. Nikki lowered her head for short. What if he remembers what she did? But is it possible? Lakesha said anyone will not remember that... She had to be brave and try to talk to him. Tahatan is her family and she loves him. He is her best friend. He's worth it... Nikki mustered the courage and went through the dewy grass toward Tahatan.

- Good evening, - she smiled at him.

- Good evening, - he smiled at her back.

Nikki stood looking at Tahatan and not knowing what to say.

- I love you... - finally she said.

Nikki knew it could seem awkward to come and  confess in love just for nothing, but she said what she thought, so her words were sincere, a gentle smile appeared on Nikki's lips. 

Then Tahatan narrowed his brows and looked strictly and angrily at Nikki.

- It would be better if you'd keep your words for yourself as we both know they mean almost nothing!

- How? - Nikki felt like Tahatan just slapped her face.

- How? You know yourself how! One moment you love me and other you already reject me!

- I am sorry, Tahatan... - Nikki muttered feeling how tears press her throat. She really didn't expect such his reaction. - I don't want to reject you, I... In fact, I never wanted that... I really love you and I want to fix all my mistakes...

Tahatan gave a deep sigh.

- I would like to believe in you, Nikki... But you hurt me so many times... It's not easy to believe in someone's love when you feel needless.

- I... I... - Nikki's voice trembled. - I know I did horrible things, maybe even I'm not worth you, but... Please... - she wiped tears. - Let me prove you that I can be different...

Tahatan shook his head.

- Nikki... How many times we tried before?

- I don't know... Many times... - Nikki answered looking at Tahatan.

- And all they were only empty waste of time... 

- No... - Nikki didn't want to agree.

- No? I already started to think you hate me, Nikki. 

- You are wrong then!

- Wrong? Then what I have to think when you always reject me or offend me? Do you like to hate me? 

Nikki looked at Tahatan with teary eyes. His words hurt her, but Tahatan was right. She's never thought about it before... 

- I love you... That's all what I know, Tahatan, - she said silently.

- Do you know what is love, Nikki? - Tahatan asked looking at her eyes.

Nikki shook her head ignoring his ironical question.

- I'm very tired, so I'll go better, -she said wiping her tears, turned away and went to the tent leaving Tahatan alone.

Nikki cried like never before. All this conversation was so painful and hurt her so much. But maybe she needed it... And what did she hope? That Tahatan will pull her in his embrace only because she expressed him her fondness? She remembered how many times she was mean to him, so now she got what she was deserved. It was just so painful... But Nikki didn't want to give up. It's not tomorrow yet, but it will come soon and when she'll wake up she'll be quiet different Nikki than that one who stayed in the past.

3.31. One more chance

Suddenly Nikki felt she can't breathe longer. Something like the grip pinched her chest, her legs trembled in the weakness. She heard shouting Tahatan, saw his eyes frantic in fear, but she couldn't do anything. She dies. That's it. It's over.
- Tahatan... - her lips trembled without a sound.
Soon a strange murmur fell on her ears and the white fog covered around her everything. She heard people voices, and then everything turned into a strange humming bells, what once she heard when Nikki and her mother visited the temple, but it was a long time ago... How old was she then? Four? Five? Nikki's body collapsed on the floor. She couldn't move anymore, only two cold tears rolled down on her cheeks. The last tears. "Farewell, Tahatan..." - it was the last thought what crossed her mind. Then, as if someone shook her and she began to fall into the abyss.

***

She took a deep breath of air and opened her eyes. Nikki stood in the middle of the field surrounded by strange purple fog.
- Where am I? - Nikki looked around terrified, but here she was  quiet alone. Suddenly, panic-stricken she started jumping and waving hands. - Help me! Help me, please!

- You aren't alone, stop screaming like crazy! - she heard female voice.
Nikki gasped and turned around. A young woman stood before her. Her eyes were good, but now her glance was serious and strict.
- Who are you? - Nikki mumbled. - And where am I?
- Look at me better, girl... - A woman narrowed her eyes.
- Lakesha? Lakesha! - Nikki almost jumped in joy and rushed to hug a woman, but she stopped Nikki.
- Don't touch me. You aren't in the world where you are used to live.
Nikki looked at Lakesha surprised.
- Where are we then?
- You are almost dead, Nikki, - Lakesha looked at Nikki strictly. - If you'll touch me you'll stay with me in this world. If even I am not sure I should allow you return there...
- Why? - Nikki bit her own lip.
- Why?! You even dare to ask me why I took you?! - Lakesha raised her voice. - Just look what you did! You destroyed their lives, condemned to die that young guy! And why? Only for that man Kotori and your stupidity!

Nikki gave a deep sight and lowered her head.
- I know... - she whispered.

- What do you know? - Lakesha asked angrily. - Did I teach you to hurt and harm people?
- No...
- Did I teach you to be selfish?
- No...
- I asked you to bring love to these people as they suffered a lot in their past and what you have done, Nikki?
- I am very distressed because of what I did, my teacher and guardian... - Nikki said silently.

- Good... I am happy you didn't lose your heart, - Lakesha's voice softened. - So I had to stop you, my girl, and take you here, in the Spirits world.
- Will you forgive me, Lakesha? - Nikki sobbed. - I am feeling so dirty...

- I will as any mother forgives her daughter for her mistakes, - Lakesha smiled. - I'll give you one more chance to prove that you are worth to be shaman and live with the Blessing Moon tribe, but...
- But? - Nikki looked at Lakesha's dark eyes.
- You'll return there where you've not been wrong yet. It means you'll return to your past. It will be good for all and they'll not remember what you did and how you died, but here is something for what I have to warn you.
- And what is that?
- You'll remember everything what you did and others... If even they'll not remember those horrible things they had to survive, they will feel it, so some of your tribal people can be not so nice with you like they were before, - Lakesha smiled. - It's your punishment, Nikki. Be ready to pay for what you did. You'll have to prove you are worth their trust and love. It will not be easy to you, especially when you are so inclined to evil.

Listening to Lakesha Nikki felt relieved.
- I can change, my teacher, - she smiled. - I swear I'll prove you that I can be different!

- Don't swear me, Nikki! - Lakesha raised her hand looking strictly at her. - Words mean nothing if they don't become actions! It's your last chance, my girl! It's the only your chance! Keep it in your mind, Nikki!
- Yes... - Nikki nodded. - Thank you... Thank you for trusting me, my teacher and guardian...
- Don't thank me. I can change my mind any time, Nikki!
- One more question, Lakesha... - Nikki stopped her teacher. - That raven... Is it you?
Lakesha smiled.
- And what do you think, my silly child?
- I think, it's you...
- You'll get all answers when you'll learn your lessons and will get more wisdom.
Nikki wanted to say something more, but suddenly she felt so sleepy.
- I am tired...
- Of course, my child. Rest before your return to your past, - Lakesha smiled.
Nikki sat on the strange stone bench and looked one more time at her teacher and guardian. Lakesha started to sing. Her song was so gentle and reminded her lullaby. Nikki felt a child again and smiled. Sweet tiredness covered her so much that Nikki couldn't keep her eyes open longer. She lay on the bench and dipped into deep sleep.

3.30. Stikini

Nikki knew she made a big mistake and she was scared. She didn't want Suletu and Okomi to harm and it even wasn't her goal. She wanted only one - to prove Maat that Kotori is easily accessible and any woman can have him any time and anywhere. And yes... To be honest she wanted him so badly. She got him and had him in those bushes and she had to admit he was great lover, but... What now? Nothing. Nikki felt empty and felt horrible any time when she had go to sleep and lie down next to Tahatan, when she had to look at his eyes. And that raven. It haunted her wherever she was... Nikki always heard the same: "Tell the truth... Tell the truth"... But how? How to tell the truth and what truth she has to say? What about? About how she poisoned Okomi wanting to get Kotori and teach Maat "a valuable lesson"? How she cheated on Tahatan? From where she should begin? Nikki felt totally confused. A meditation was everything what she mostly did recently. She wanted to clear her soul and mind and find the answer what she should to do, but it didn't help.

Nikki avoided her children and Tahatan as she feared that they'll ask her to explain what means her weird behavior, but one day everything resolved by itself.
Tahatan caught her by her hand when she tried to pass by him unnoticed.
- Nikki, you'll not get rid of me, do you hear me? - he pulled her to himself. - Stop ignore me, please!
Nikki's heart started to beat like crazy.
- I... I... - she smiled not knowing what to say.
- Nikki, you drive me crazy... You are such... - Tahatan shook his head narrowing his eyes. - Sometimes I want to grab and shake you in anger, but I can't... I love you too much, Nikki, - he kissed her hand. - I love you and our kids more than my life.

Nikki knew that Tahatan says a truth. He loved her no matter how many times she was mean and hurt him, no matter how many times she rejected him. He loved her when she betrayed him. He loved her always... Suddenly Nikki felt how tears fill her eyes.
- I am sorry, Tahatan... - Nikki muttered.
- Are you crying? What's wrong? - Tahatan looked at her green eyes worried.
- I'm not worth your love, I'm not worth anything...
- What are you talking about? - Tahatan stepped back a bit.
- We have to talk, Tahatan...
- What about?
- Listen... I lied to you, Tahatan... I did many horrible things, - Niki's voice trembled.

- I don't understand...
- Listen to me, please...  If I'll not tell the truth now I'll never tell it more...
- Ok... - Tahatan nodded.
- So... It began before many suns and moons. I and Maat argued for Kotori. I was jealous of her as I... - Nikki fell her eyes. - I wanted Kotori, I desired him... After our quarrel I decided to teach her and... Then I started to prepare a food adding some herbs what stimulate a lust and unhealthy attraction to another person. If even you refuse to sleep with that person you want all the time to be with him or her, you'll be totally addicted. You'll not need any rest, any food, almost anything, except your love object.

- Unfortunately, Okomi also ate this food and he ate it too much... These verbs are poisonous... And I'm afraid he'll die soon.
Tahatan stared at Nikki not wanting to believe in her words.
- And... Did you... with my brother? - he asked silently.
- Yes... - Nikki nodded. - I did...

- Oh no! Why did you do that, Nikki?! Why?! - he shouted covering his face and bursting in tears.
- I am stikini, your brother was right... - Nikki muttered watching Tahatan. - I don't want to be evil, but I am...
- Go out, woman! Go away and leave me alone! - Tahatan cried yelling angrinly at Nikki.
Nikki stood looking at him and feeling how the ground slips under her feet. "I am dead..." - she thought. "- I wish I was dead..."

3.29. The decision

Suletu stood alone looking somewhere in the distance. It was almost midnight, all went to rest to their tents, except her. She had her own plans. Now she was young adult and she could plan her life without other interference. And who cares about her? Anyone even didn't ask her how she feels. All acted as if nothing had happened, but Suletu didn't forget that night, when she and Okomi were punished. Okomi... What about Okomi? He sleeps with Maat and it's also ok,.. Even Kotori does nothing to recover Maat. Suletu wanted he would hit Okomi, shake him well, but no... Kotori walked like a shadow himself. Suletu saw him many times cuddling his baby girl Tama or walking with his older boy Chatan. It was sad to see her childhood friend suffering. They both suffered, but one day it had to end and that day will come tomorrow. Suletu decided and anyone will not make her to change her mind. She nodded silently and continued to eat her late dinner. It was her last dinner in this tribe.
- Suletu? - suddenly she heard Kotori's voice.
- Yes, Kotori, - she answered silently.
- Does the sadness make you hungry? - Kotori smiled.
- The sadness makes me angry, Kotori, and if you'll not stop to annoy me soon you'll make sure it yourself.

- Sorry... I didn't want to offend you, - Kotori said quickly.
- Then leave me alone, - Suletu said angrily. - I'm not in mood to talk to you!

- Come on, Suletu! - Kotori chuckled. - You don't want to be alone at all and we both know the truth, aren't we? Just look at yourself! You're like a walking misery than that girl I knew once!
Suletu still didn't look at Kotori. Her eyes filled with tears and she started to cry.

- Stop, Kotori! Stop it, please... - she sobbed.
- Tears will not help you, - Kotori said.
- I know... Let's hope it's my last tears like this night in the Blessing Moon tribe village.
- What do you mean?
- I'm leaving, Kotori, - Suletu wiped her tears and looked at Kotori.
- Leaving?
- Yes, - she nodded. - I'll take my son and we'll leave this tribe. Forever.
- You can't!
- I can... Now I am an adult and I can care of myself and my son. Simply I don't have what to do in this tribe longer.
Kotori looked at Suletu surprised.
- I understand or I'm trying to understand you, but you still can't leave our tribe without letting know about your decision to Wenona.
- She'll know it, I'll talk to her...
- And I... I still care of you, Suletu.
- Until Maat is with Okomi. When she'll be back you'll forget me like yesterday, so better don't lie to yourself and me.

Kotori didn't say anything.
- I'm sorry, Kotori... - Suletu said silently. - I have to find Okomi and talk to him.
Kotori silently nodded. Suletu put her plate on the grass and left.

***

- Hey, Okomi, if even I am just a shadow for you, you still can't ignore me forever, - Suletu said when she saw Okomi sitting at the fire.

Okomi felt how much pain is in Suletu's voice. He looked at his mate for short and fell down his eyes at once feeling embarrassed and not knowing what he should say her.

- Many things had happened you know... - he muttered. 

- Yes, that's true... - Suletu chuckled. - Don't worry, I didn't forget it, but still... We have to talk as I don't have too much time.

- And are you hurry somewhere? - Okomi smiled.

- Yes... I'm in hurry and that's why we have to talk. Now, Okomi.

- Ok... - he agreed raising to his feet.

- Let's go... - Suletu turned away and went through the grass towards the chess table. Somehow all tribal members chose this place if they wanted to talk seriously about something.

- So? - Okomi looked at Suletu.

- I'm surprised you agreed to talk to me! Can you remember when you talked to me last time? - Suletu laughed, her laughter was painful and full of anger.

- No... - his answer was short.

- Me too... I know Maat is better than I, so you prefer her... I'm just that stupid girl who seduced you and made us both to pay for the mistake we did, - Suletu talked swallowing the tears, her voice trembled, - and she's a woman who has more experience in life... 

- Suletu...

- Don't interrupt me! - Suletu raised her voice feeling how a huge wave of anger flooded her heart. - You had to tell me... Before going to her... But you acted like some... - she swallowed her tears again and made to smile herself. - Well, I'll survive it. I just want to say you I and Halian are leaving this tribe. 

- What?! - Okomi almost jumped in the surprise. - You can't take Hallian, he is my son!

- Did you just remember you have a son? What a shame, Okomi! - Suletu shook her head smiling ironically. - You forgot me and Halian, so it means you don't need us... And we'll not disturb you and Maat. So... I think that's all what I wanted to tell you. Good luck to you, Okomi!

- Are you leaving me? Suletu! - Okomi exclaimed.

Suletu didn't turn to him. She went through the dewy grass not seeing anything through the tears in her eyes.

Sleep. It was all she needed now. Suletu went into her tent rejoicing that finally she's alone again. It was so hard to talk to Okomi, but she had to do that. 

"Tomorrow will be another day", - she calmed down herself laying down next to her sleeping son.- "We'll be happy, Halian..."- she smiled through the tears and kissed Hallian's cheek.

3.28. Obsessed with love

Okomi felt weird already long time. He couldn't say what's going with him but he couldn't get out Maat of his head. He felt like his soul and body don't belong to him anymore, everywhere was Maat - in his mind, in his heart, in his dreams... He even almost didn't need sleep and food, he didn't need anything, except Maat. Okomi knew and felt that others look at him askew, but he couldn't fight against that. He followed Maat everywhere... At first they only talked. He needed Maat and her support and she was able to understand him. It was too hard to talk to Suletu and even look at her eyes after all what happened to them both. Maat was so wise, he always admired her mind and wisdom. However, there was something more and Okomi couldn't explain it. It was like attraction he was unable to fight. They've never kissed, they've never were lovers, but he was bonded somehow to Maat and he was sure it's a love and maybe even stronger than love. Even when he saw that Kotori gets furious seeing him trying to flirt with Maat, he still couldn't stop.

His life became similar to the walking on a dagger blade. He didn't notice how his son Halian grew up to a handsome boy.

He even didn't care what Maat thinks and how she feels, but if Okomi would have to look at her heart he would see that she suffers, too. Maat was able to realize that something is going wrong although she couldn't also fight against that.
- I don't know what's going between you and Okomi and it's not my business, Maat, - once said Wenona her, -  but if you two will not stop it will not end good.
Maat felt ashamed, but she couldn't think how to explain all this weird bond between her and Okomi.

She just felt that Wenona is right. Her life was more like a dream than a life. She and Okomi slept if even their eyes were opened widely. Maat knew if they'll not wake up now they'll stay in this dream obsessed with their weird love. But was their love real?

3.27. A sign

She got what she wanted. Nikki stood long in euphoria and still thinking of Kotori's hands and lips touching her, their entwined bodies.  A revenge was sweet. "You're lost, Maat..." - she thought and chuckled."- Kotori is mine now"...

It was Nikki's little secret, her victory she enjoyed so much, but her satisfaction didn't last long. They met many nights secretly and soon Nikki realized that she can have Kotori's body, but not his soul. His soul belonged to Maat. Yes, he was nice with Nikki and sweet, but he always was distant... No matter how many times Nikki looked at his eyes deeply trying to get stronger bond, her charms didn't work. Kotori was charmer, but not Nikki and it was the worst truth she wanted to know.

And then Nikki thought about Tahatan. She felt ashamed and guilty... Tahatan was clear like water, he's never told lies and betrayed her. It was so hard to look at his eyes after what she did... She did a lot. Luckily anyone didn't know about it except Nikki. If they would know she would lose everything. Was it worth to risk for the passion? Nikki couldn't think about it, she even didn't want to think, especially when she saw how happy is her mate. Tahatan was great father to their kids and it seemed he is the most happiest person in this world having Nikki and their four children.

It was really hard for Nikki and when Wenona felt labor pains she sincerely rejoiced. While Noel tried to calm Wenona down she rushed to her tent to take verbs and prepare a special drink for Wenona that helps for labor. The care of her creator and her baby also helped and Nikki. She got rid of her thoughts about Kotori even for few hours.

That day Wenona and her brother Noel had a boy named Sakima what means "chief, king" in the Blesssing Moon tribe's native language.

Noel was so happy that he became a father again and it helped Nikki to forget about herself again.

After Sakima's birth Nikki and Kotori didn't meet longer. Not that they didn't want that, it just happened by itself. And probably it was the best. Nikki tried to forget about their love adventure focusing on her kids and meditation.
Soon her and Tahatan's sons grew up and now her life was easier. Twins were nice boys. Anoki was loner like her mother, but he always smiled.

His brother twin Atohi was smart like the old man and he always tried to be near Nikki.

Nikki loved her kids and she tried to be a good mother. It also helped her not hear the voice of conscience. It was very hard not hear this voice, especially when she saw how Okomi behaves. She know the reason, but she didn't know how to help him and not give herself away, so she decided just forget and do nothing although Nikki felt how someone watches her. She even could swear sometimes she felt someone's presence, but she ignored it and tried to make herself believe that nothing happened, she's never slept with Kotori and she never did what she did. However,  at one early morning she understood she can't pretend longer.
Nikki and her son Atohi stood outside enjoying the rising sun when suddenly she heard a strange caw. Nikki looked up and saw a big raven sitting on the branch of a tree.

- You have to stop it... - Nikki heard a voice. - If you'll not do that the guy will die and you'll lose everything.
Nikki shook her head trying to ignore the voice.
- You know the truth and the truth will haunt you till your last breathe... I told you bring the love to the tribe, but not hatred and jealousy.
Nikki stood as if frozen and stared at the raven.
- Ma! Ma! - Atohi shook her hand, but she didn't feel it. Nikki was scared.
It was a sign and she had to think seriously.

3.26. Seducers

Kotori stood long time staring at the starlight sky. He didn't want to go to his tent although he thought about Maat and his son Chatan. He just kissed his daughter's forehead and just hid under the woods. His broken heart yearned the solitude.
- Hey, what are you doing here, Kotori? - suddenly he heard female voice.
Kotori turned and saw Nikki. She looked at him curiously.
- Did you miss me, stikini? - Kotori smiled ironical.
- You'll never change, - Nikki shook her head and was going away, but Kotori stopped her grabbing by her hand.
- I'm sorry... - he said. - I know you don't like when I call you stikini, - his dark eyes shone in the darkness like two Obsidian stones. - Honestly... I want to make it up with you.

Nikki looked at him surprised. She even didn't want to believe in what she's just heard, but Kotori was sincere. He really wanted to make it up with Nikki.
- Aren't you too nice tonight? - now Nikki smiled ironical.
- I'm not nice and I'll never be, - Kotori's voice sounded gloomy and angrily. - But I am sincere and you should appreciate it.
- Oh... - Nikki chuckled. - I really do, Kotori! And what made you change your mind?
- Is it important?

Nikki looked at his eyes. It was so hard to reject his charm... Kotori seemed even more handsome and attractive than before, sadness and misery suited him.
- Well, it's not important. As I know what has happened... - finally she answered.
- Really?
Nikki nodded.
- You feel lonely tonight, Kotori... As she left you, - she said silently.
Kotori ignored Nikki's words. He didn't want to hear anything about Maat that night. He wanted to forget her and make her suffer like she made him suffering. He wanted to forget. Forget everything and listen only his hurt heart and body.
- It's not important, - he said wrapping his arms around her and pulling Nikki in his embrace.

 

Nikki cuddled against his strong body feeling how the wings of the thousand butterflies touched her skin. She smiled mysteriously and closed her eyes. Kotori was hers. Finally. She dreamed of it so many nights and days... She still couldn't believe in that, but she knew that he is really hers. If even it will just be for the one night. And Nikki was right. Well, almost right as Kotori thought of her the same. He knew he'll not let her go that night. He stepped back and stared at her with his dark eyes. Nikki stared at him back.
- So? Are we friends since now? - she asked.
- Friends? Are we just friends? - Kotori smiled.

- I don't know... What do you think of it?
- I think you want me... - Kotori whispered leaned against Nikki. - And I want you, too.
Nikki smiled still not taking her eyes off him.
- You are evil... - she whispered him.

- No... - Kotori shook his head. - Here you are evil as you allow me to seduce you...
"Are you sure, Kotori?"- she thought and smiled at him mysteriously. - "Aren't you the only, who is seduced?"
- And I am yours... Here and now, - she said looking at his eyes full of lust and passion.

Kotori didn't say any word. He pulled Nikki to himself and kissed her hungrily trying to forget all his pain, anger and this world.